often we are told to call a crisis line or go to an emergency room if we feel we are in a crisis. these are great resources… but the problem is, most of us get filled with anxiety at the thought of reaching out for help.
the first time i tried to call a crisis line i was full of anxiety. my heart was racing so quick i could feel it trying to jump out of my chest and the thoughts and fears of what would happen when the person on the other end answered terrefied me. I worried about a lot of things and i dont think im alone in these fears.. i was scared that i wouldnt be able to talk or know what to say but that it would all be put on me to figure out making the conversation while the other person sat in silcence and waited and got annoyed. i also worried that they would automatically know my location and send the police to my house which first off, police scare me and secondly i figured my family wouldnt react so well with police showing up and pounding on the door when they had no clue what was going on. I was scared of so many “what ifs” that it kept me from trying to get support.
eventually i made the call, i didin’t get an answer after ten tries and was getting fed up.. part of me felt like it was purposely against me and that my issues weren’t that big of a concern. That day i don’t think i got through to the line but i moved on to try other coping skills and i made it through the day.
The second time i tried calling my anxiety levels were 10 times worse. i had impulsively acted on harmful behaviors and quickly regretted it but knew i probably needed medical attention. again, i was supposed to be at work soon and couldn’t face telling my family. i called the crisis line and spoke to a very kind lady, she in fact lead the conversation, she wasn’t judgmental and she didn’t over react and send police pounding at the front door.. instead she calmly asked how i was feeling and asked if there was any family around i trusted that she could speak to. I took the phone to mom and of course my heart was racing and mom wasn’t exactly calm when she got the surprise but she got me proper medical attention and then had a second to breathe and know that everything was okay. of course its not easy for your family when they don’t know if your going to be okay.
since then i have called the crisis line one other time and again spoke to a kind lady who led the conversation and made me feel welcome to talk. I explained to her that my therapist was on vacation, my mood had drastically changed and that i was suddenly having very dangerous thoughts. she suggested that i see my family doctor, call my psychiatrist and try to see a therapist in the mean-time if possible. I took her suggestions and went to see my family doctor. it was not sunshine and rainbows after that but at least I had tried to help myself. my doctor gave me a different medication dose to try and took time to try and counsel me through my depression. I went home and took the day off work. My family knew i had hit a really deep low and that i was not able to function but they stayed by me and supported me.
if i had to call a crisis line today i would still be full of anxiety. It is a great resource and my experiences have all been positive! but it is still really hard to admit the thoughts and feelings you are having .. and that’s OK!
If you are considering calling a crisis line .. make sure you are calling a support line that is well-known and has a good reputation! some crisis lines are answered by trained professionals and others are volunteers. if you don’t get through KEEP ON TRYING! the reason they aren’t answering is because you aren’t alone! so many people are needing support at any given time during the day! If you are worried about your call history or call logs there are chats you can use as well with Emergency Exits from the sites.
CRISIS RESOURCES: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ Canada: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html Text lines: http://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/textchat/
If you need Immediate medical assistance Call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room