I have had struggles with food in the past, there was a period of time in my life when I stopped self harming and instead was purging.
This didn’t last long as I quickly returned to self harming on a daily basis- but nevertheless it happened. I don’t consider it a huge part of my life and it’s never something I’ve talked about in therapy.
My current struggle with food isn’t necessarily an eating disorder but my moods definitely effect my appetite.
Most days I forget to eat or will pick up a muffin and keep going and I don’t realize it until I hit the point of feeling like I’m about to pass out. This I have talked with my family and therapist about and we have all agreed that I do need to be eating better and making sure I’m eating.
Although this isn’t necessarily an eating disorder it is still something I have to watch because I have a tendency to find new ways to take control of my life and I am in a place now where I am not self harming or feeling the need to drink, but this puts me at risk for finding a new way to “cope” and control my emotions.
As I am writing this I am sitting in front of my dinner that I have no appetite for after working and all I have eaten today was a breakfast sandwich and a tiny bit of poutine. This is my current plate of food:
I want to also mention that eating disorders have a lot of stigma and in fighting to end stigma I must share that people with eating disorders are all shapes,sizes and even genders. High rates of men fight eating disorders. Also, eating disorders aren’t always about restricting your diet, for some it is the opposite and they cope by over eating.
Please be kind. You don’t know what the person next to you is going through.
Talk again soon,